I got out of my car and stepped in a puddle.
Photo 101 Day 3.
My grandma has the best home I’ve ever experienced.
It is surrounded by hills, open to nature.
Its simplicity is what made it magical.
Its simplicity is what gave us, kids, a blank canvas to see and imagine new worlds, new views that could one day be our reality.
Her room was the very first room of the house. It had a window facing the dirt and open hills of San Antonio Arenillas. If someone was knocking, the window was our peephole. Through the window we can see passers-by in their beat-up trucks. We can see Don Crecensiano in his bike, carrying the milk carts, stopping miles away at a few houses that still purchased fresh milk from him. There was so much room, so much space between houses; we can see what people were doing, who was home and who just arrived. We can see the bulls and the cows pass by to the other side of the hills to eat pasture. The goats and the sheep would follow. The dogs followed after all of the animals as they socialized among each other. And the sole teenager, in care of the pack would be last.
It was so simple, so peaceful, and now so far away.
I don’t know what to do.
I finished my thesis and submitted it for approval December 10. Now I am waiting for the final approval by the school and I will be set. I will be a Master of the Arts in Chicana and Chicano Studies. But this waiting game is annoying me. Although I don’t foresee any problems getting my thesis approved, the possibility of being rejected always exists.
Thankfully, I have a job at a non-profit organization that is fit for my interests. I am beginning to see connections from what I learned through all that reading I did for my thesis, and my current job. In my thesis I wrote about working class Latinas’ activism. Through it, I saw the need for further development of Latinas not just as fighters and activists, but as people with lives outside of their work and their organizing. Writing and suggesting possible solutions based on the readings is one thing, but actually placing it in practice is another. The fact that the economy and political environment has changed over the years makes the solutions slightly different than what they might have been 20 years ago.
Now I work providing educational services for service workers, and getting the programs up and running is a challenge. Regardless, it can and will be done. I am excited and I hope to see everything running as anticipated.
I still have to see about my thesis though. I want to make sure it gets approved and that I get my diploma through the mail.
I miss writing though. So I will commit to writing a new blog at least twice a month. That way I can get my thinking juices flowing.
Perhaps more scholarly work is in the horizon for me. I would love to get published in a scholarly journal, and to continue to produce work that is beneficial to the improvement of many communities. I am excited, happy and relieved. However, institutionalized academia has been my life for over 20 years, I don’t think I can walk away from it.
My new blog is on the works, and will be published soon.
I remember coming to this library in Bakersfield, when I was younger, a handful of times. From all those times the memory that I had was of this enormous library. A sea of books, and so little time to read them. Of course in comparison to my high school library, it was bigger. Continue reading “Old library, new memories”
I don’t know what to do. I want to move on but I cannot. I feel like I am inadequate for this academic work. It take practice, I know. But I feel like I am not getting it. What else can I do in a little amount of time? I don’t want to rush my work, but if I do not finish by my set deadline, I feel like I am just going to drag. I wish I had a coach, sitting right next to me, telling me what to do and how. But I must take my own responsibility on this process, it is my work, I picked it, I can handle it.
As more time passes, I can see the light. I have pages and pages of literature and data written but they are not connected. I keep going back to my readings to see what I missed. What needs to be further discussed and explored. I love my thesis, and at this stage, I am connecting to it. Continue reading “Next Stage”